The Most Serene Republic of Wooloo Unitedstrtes is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Jim Pickens with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.593 billion Wooloo Unitedstrtesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novorossilkovo. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Wooloo Unitedstrtesian economy, worth a remarkable 4,519 trillion WOOPS a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is a breathtaking 525,911 WOOPS, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Wooloo Unitedstrtes's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, autocrats are persona non grata, most towns have their Jim Pickens High School located on Jim Pickens Street, and colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Wooloo Unitedstrtesian Liberator". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Wooloo Unitedstrtes's national animal is the Wooloo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Wooloo Unitedstrtes is ranked 2,349^th in the world and 44^th in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3,397.28 pounds of wildlife per square mile.